absolute-wellness-2

My 3 life hacks…

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 15:58:50 GMT

So everyone is talking about the ‘Let Them’ theory at the moment, and rightly so. Mel Robbins has brought this simple reminder back on our radars to help us live a less complicated and stressful life. One where you don’t need to waste time trying to control outcomes that you simply can’t control.

We all do it, we want the people that we work with, spend time with or love to understand that our way is the best way. Or that whatever the other person is doing is causing them harm or risk to health. But the more we try and influence people that aren’t on board and not listening, the more we push them away and the more frustrated we become. Maybe angry, resentful and ultimately making ourselves ill with worry.

So, by saying ‘let them’ you release the little pressure cooker in your own body and you turn your focus back to yourself….by then saying and ‘let me’. So you let them do and say what they’re going to do, then you do what’s right for you. You focus on yourself. You keep yourself healthy, you make your own plans instead of waiting around on someone else making them. In fact, when you back off and show less interest or force on a matter, often the other party becomes more open to change. Maybe even following your lead if it’s a behavioural issue.

But this is just background, before I introduce my favourite 3 ways of navigating through life! Before I do, I’ll mention Mel’s other successful motivation tool. So, she created the concept of counting back from 5-4-3-2-1 to get people moving. She discovered this worked during her darkest time of depression. In order to get out of bed she would do this countdown and then she would make herself move.

Again, it’s very simple and Mel has written a book about each of these concepts and brought herself huge success.

So many people are talking about these theories, every week in my relaxation sessions someone has been talking about how it’s making a difference to their lives. It was during such a session that it came to me how I ve been doing something, not too dissimilar, most of my life when faced with some challenging decisions.

Life hack 1.

Instead of 5-4-3-2-1, I’ve been doing 3-2-1 to get me moving. Now I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel here, but mine is simply quicker and more of an instant result for the impatient people among us. If I can’t get out of bed in the morning or move off the sofa in the evening for the same reason, I just say 3-2-1 in my head! I need to get out the shower, do the housework, or go for that run. 3-2-1 GO. Its snappy and it works, but if you prefer Mel’s longer way, giving yourself that extra few seconds of comfort, then go for it!

I really don’t know how she’s written a whole book on this concept but there you go. I’m onto my next life hack. This one is very important and again I’ve been doing this since my 20s without really realising it till these conversations came up at work.

So here it is. Life hack 2.

‘Walk away’. That’s it, simple. In fact, in some circumstances, you might need to ‘run away’! I’ve walked away from at least 3 jobs and quite a few relationships where my inner peace felt so out of balance that I was losing my sense of self. If you are questioning who you are or how you don’t recognise yourself anymore, maybe you need to walk away. I’m sure you’d first have tried communication and other routes; but where this leads to a dead end, and you’re flogging a dead horse, then walk away.

No job or relationship, even with family members, is worth losing your sense of self. I can think of jobs where I lost my confidence and positivity from feeling undervalued; or my Manager taking an almost instant dislike to me when I started the job. If you stay too long you become conditioned to being this new person, with low self-esteem and confidence; it then becomes harder to leave as you don’t know how you’ll fit into a new role as you identify with yourself as this new person who has lost their bounce. Just like the ‘let them’ theory, don’t try and change the people around you, just walk away with your head held high.

I’ve seen myself getting bitter and resentful of colleagues when I felt undervalued and given less opportunities. It was only me feeling these negative feelings. They were all fine, but it then affected how I felt about them. Best to walk away and find something that’s a better fit for you, instead of losing friendships.

Now, Relationships. Same thing, obviously after a bit of effort. If it’s not right, if it’s not working, and after plenty attempts, you walk away. Don’t let anyone ever have you question your worth or where you fit in. Don’t stay in a loveless relationship, you must love yourself by walking away. If you ask yourself the question ‘Is this relationship a whole body YES?’ If it’s not a whole body YES, then simply it’s a NO. If you have gut feelings or physical symptoms when they are around you that make you feel uneasy or not able to fully be yourself, then it’s a NO. Why try and convince yourself otherwise? Life is way too short to be constantly struggling in work and in relationships.

I’ve ‘walked out the door’ a few times in my life and never looked back. If you are being manipulated, gaslit or lied to, it’s a no brainer. Walk away. No in fact, run away. If someone in your life is speaking to you with dis-respect, with hatred and anger. Don’t entertain them. Just walk away.

When raising children, you have to ‘walk away’ from conflict over and over again. Walking away (usually into another room!) from volatile situations is the best advise with children, until both of you are feeling calm and ready to talk rationally (a few exceptions in here with younger children). Same with family members that you just don’t get on with but you still want a relationship of sorts; leave the room, make a cup of tea, just walk away till you are ready to be there again.

And friendships, why do we continue to put up with friends that don’t treat us that well or reciprocate the friendship? Just because we’ve known someone for decades isn’t a reason to keep them close. Who really is the same person they were after all those years? We don’t all grow together, often friendships grow apart or they are one-sided. If you put your energy into relationships that are one-sided you will feel resentful and drained. Probably questioning your self-worth again. I always believe we often need to let some people go to allow for the right people to come into our lives. So look at your friendships, is it mostly you holding it together and reaching out? Again, after bringing up your thoughts and feelings you allow yourself to make up your own mind.

Now the final hack, this really works for me and usually follows fast on the heels of ‘walk away!’

Life hack 3.

Go on holiday! Take a break, go somewhere you’ve never been before. A change of scenery is the best tonic after walking away from a job or a relationship. I left a job in my 20’s and within days was visiting my brother in Sweden. I had no job to return to but I knew things would fall into place after a break and a clear mind. After relationships have ended I’ve usually had a holiday booked within a short time. After my wedding was cancelled I went on holiday to Bermuda to visit my sister within weeks. I went to Denmark to visit a cousin to get some headspace and work out whether to breakup with someone. Croatia after another heartbreak. I mean I’ve done more travelling through breakups than any other time. So really you have to see the positives, the breakups were a blessing.

You just don’t come back the same person. Your perspective has changed and your heart is a little stronger. Now I know it’s not always possible to jet off to another country; however, just going to stay with a friend for the weekend can help… a change of scene. Time to reflect and maybe come up with a plan for the future. A holiday is like a reset. You can reset your life, your eating habits, exercise and sleep patterns and be more ready for the unknown future.

So there you have it, I promise I won’t write a book on my 3 life hacks. But they’ve worked for me. I know some situations are much darker and way more complicated, I’ve had a few. But the essence of these still holds true. When you’ve had enough of a situation that’s making you unwell, you must choose YOU. Where you have a choice choose your health. Every time.

If you’re needing re-direction in life with career, relationships or family and want to break free from unhealthy cycles of behaviour contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk for life coaching and CBT.

Menopause, my experience so far….

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 13:27:22 GMT

I really don’t know why I haven’t written a blog about menopause till now. I feel a little out my depth as I’m not a menopause expert but I have heard a lot of women’s experiences of menopause in my work. I’d say 80% of my clients are women aged 40-55 years and it’s probably the most discussed health topic during PT sessions and the Relaxations sessions I run.

For many women, entering this phase of life can be so life-changing it can feel like grief or a loss of the person you once were. We are no longer that younger looking, fit and fun-loving person we once identified ourselves to be. We might not recognise ourselves anymore. I’ve heard women say they just couldn’t see the joy in life anymore or how long it had been since they’d really laughed. You can feel you are grieving your younger self, no longer having children, your skin is changing, your body shape and you may feel like your memory has totally gone. Working at the level you once worked at can be a real struggle and simply become too much; with many women leaving high powered careers due to severe brain fog and hot flushes.

Personally, I think I was a little in denial that I would ever suffer symptoms. I always thought if I ate well, exercised, kept stress levels down and got enough sleep then I’d be fine. How wrong I’ve been, and in hindsight I believe I’ve been perimenopausal since my youngest was born 12 year ago and I started having terrible night sweats. I'm 50 now and think the pregnancy maybe triggered the change in hormones. For anyone that knew me before this, I was always freezing and in bed my feet were like blocks of ice. Now I could literally melt chocolate on my feet I‘m so warm, and my Raynaud’s symptoms are much less of a problem. Over those years I would go to the GP and have a blood test to check hormone levels, but it always came back as fine. Then 3 years ago, a GP did the blood test 2 months apart to check for a change in hormones, based on all my symptoms.

It seems to me that women are in a GP lottery with hugely contrasting support from GPs. The range of treatment and advise, despite the explosion of media interest in the topic, isn’t filtering down to every GP. I know several women that have had to go private for blood tests to determine which hormones they are lacking. I know women that are suffering with symptoms that are restricting them from getting out the house and from living a life they once loved. I know men that don’t recognise their wives anymore and I’m sure children also feel they’ve lost their Mother for a while.

Yet I keep hearing of GPs refusing to believe a woman is in perimenopause, and prescribing treatment for anxiety or depression. Its scandalous and unbelievable that women are being repeatedly told its something else and not being listened to, especially when they are over 40 years old. The thing is, no-one knows their body and will notice any changes more than you. Yet your GP isn’t listening. Sadly, this is why some women have given up on the GP service altogether, questioning their own mind about what’s wrong with them. Not being listened to and spending a lot of money going to private clinics and a monthly fortune on supplements.

My newsfeed on social media is literally swamped with the latest fix for menopause. I’m fortunate that my GP has been excellent in providing HRT and listening to me, (once 2 blood tests showed a huge difference in FSH follicle stimulating hormone) but I just don’t hear this happening very often. Blood tests shouldn’t be the only determining factor of perimenopause. Nor should age as some women as young as 30 will go through early menopause.

I know some of my clients have sailed through these years, so please don’t believe all women are doomed in these years. But if you do notice a change in your normal mood, weight gain around your tummy, anxiety, joint and muscular pains, low levels of energy and motivation, night sweats and insomnia, depression, brain fog, low sex drive, difficulty with fitness training, headaches, eye problems and thinning hair then you might be entering this phase. I know this is just skimming the surface with symptoms as there are so so many. And yes of course these symptoms are not unique to menopause. Symptoms can be there one month and the next month you may feel ok.

Strangely I've recently found myself struggling with driving; something I never really worried about, but now I get lost on familiar routes and driving in the dark makes me feel anxious. I set my satnav for every journey I make, even the local ones! My children have pointed out how ditsy I am, doing daft stuff, forgetting plans they’ve told me and putting things in the wrong places. Usually they are understandable but its equally frustrating for them to have to keep repeating themselves.

Yesterday I did a 6 mile run, which was especially tough…though they all feel tough at the moment. Even having the motivation and energy to run can be so hard to overcome; now that my times are so far removed from what they once were. But I’m so grateful I am still able to run and keep active. Some days I have to push myself to train when I really don’t feel like it. My energy can be low after a full night’s sleep and I question why my motivation is so low when it’s always something I’ve had in abundance. On days like these I make myself do something, even if it’s a walk, as I don’t want to give up altogether. I contrast this to just a few months ago, when I was feeling very fit and able to do the equivalent of a standard distance triathlon. So, I seek reassurance that it will change again.

Don’t give up with your GP. Keep trusting you know your body better than anyone and seek another opinion. Don’t be fobbed off if you feel in your gut you need support with HRT. No 2 women are the same. We don’t respond to HRT the same way. Patches or synthetic hormones might be ok for one woman but can make another actually feel worse. It’s way more complicated than everyone being given the same treatment. Some of us need more Oestrogen, some more Testosterone. It’s an area that needs a hell of a lot more work to help women when they go to the GP. Aim to keep supplementing any medical interventions with self-care and a healthy lifestyle. I can’t recommend yoga enough. It will help on a deeper level for your nervous system and mental health, move your body in a more gentle way and help with sleep and feeling calmer.

There is no doubt that menopause is a new chapter of your life. It’s meant to be just that. The end of child rearing years and a time to get your perspective back on yourself and your health. Maybe we should try and change our outlook on how we approach these years, with a gentle awareness and with open and honest communications about expectations with your family. There’s a lot of Mothers out there that have spent many many years holding the family together and raising children, maybe doing more than their fair share of keeping the house tidy and making family plans. Ensuring everyone else’s needs are met first. Menopause comes as a wake up call. It’s a time to refresh, reset and get some of yourself back that might have been neglected over the years.

I wanted to make a positive spin on this article about some of my observations, and on how to help yourself. I have discovered that symptoms are way worse when there are stressful life events going on alongside your perimenopause or menopause. I first went on patches 3 years ago when I noticed that despite my healthy lifestyle I was experiencing rage and getting easily irritated. But it was really the circumstances I was in that were magnifying my symptoms.

1. STRESS

So my advice is to check what stress is going on in your life. Where you can, remove the toxic or damaging people from your life that are making everything worse. I now don’t allow anyone to impact on my peace, so reassess if certain friendships or relationships are making you ill. Sadly, I hear stories where a Mother has literally had enough of being taken for granted for too many years. Sometimes their menopause is blamed for their change in behaviour towards people in the family when the reality is it is the catalyst for change. Not everyone in a family is going to like the changes when they see the Mother stepping down from doing too much. Often women do reach a realisation at this stage in their life that they actually have kept their mouth shut for too long and now feel they are ready to speak up.

If you are in a job that is too stressful I’d seriously consider if it’s worth making your health worse. Maybe look for a change with your current employer, or to work less hours; start re-building more of the things you enjoy back into your life, things you may have left behind if kids came along.

If you are grieving the loss of a loved one then menopause symptoms are heightened. Try and keep talking to people and perhaps get grief counselling support.

If you have children, especially teenagers at this time, then life can feel like a constant battle. Too many or too little hormones in one house can make for a tormented period of time. I can’t emphasis enough that it’s crucial you get support and understanding. The children should be made aware that you also have challenges (tell them what your symptoms are) with this stage and that some kindness and patience all round is the goal. Support from family, friends and GP and maybe counselling or a support group will help you feel you are not alone.

2. SUPPORT NETWORK

Keep finding your circle of friends. It changes as we get older and the circle gets smaller. Pay attention to relationships that exist only out of loyalty or that are one-sided and you feel drained all the time trying to keep it together. Keep finding your people, the people that walk your talk and share the same views on life and with common interests. I’m very fortunate in my work that I have a sociable job and become good friends with clients. It’s so important you find other people in your life that can understand what you are going through.

3. BONE HEALTH

Try and build up your bone strength through lifting weights, but not at the detriment of looking after your heart health with cardiovascular training. If you are looking for a PT, try and find one that understands the menopause and the changes you are going through. They will become like your counsellor and be able to adjust your training, every time you train, to what your bodies needs are that day. I’ve still got clients from when I started doing PT 15 years ago, and they are close friends. We are all navigating this chapter together, with laughter and tears!

4. SLEEP

Follow a sleep routine that works for you. I am ready for bed by 9pm, but as long as I’m in bed by 10pm I feel I sleep better. Magnesium in its different forms can help, bath salts with lavender/ magnesium an hour before bed will help and I swear by a camomile tea a few hours before bed. I’ve a stricter routine than a baby but it works for me and I’m more flexible at the weekend! If you need advice on sleep problems, I can help with a 1-2-1 sleep assessment and CBT.

5. NOURISHMENT

Nourish your body as much as possible with as little processed foods and refined sugars as possible. Get as much colour in your diet every day with fruits and vegetables. Limit alcohol, I mean really limit alcohol intake for so many reasons. Be careful if you are finding yourself medicating to cope with the menopause through alcohol. It is a risk factor in many life-limiting diseases and will affect your mood or depressive symptoms and also your weight.

Menopause awareness is important for everyone. If you are going through it or leading up to those years, to your partners, children, parents, friends and work colleagues. Talking openly to the people in your life about what symptoms you are experiencing can help everyone better understand and support you.

I hope this article helps you with your own menopause journey and if you need further support and advice through CBT, Personal Training, Yoga and Nutrition then please contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk

Back to School

Sat, 20 Aug 2022 10:41:49 GMT

Bet you’re looking forward to the kids going back to school?’

Oh yes, I ve been asked that a few times this last week. I’m overjoyed my 3 kids are going back to school tomorrow. After 7 weeks of kids wandering around the house like lost souls, needing constantly fed and moaning about every small request for help with housework, I can’t wait to get my working space back again.

I mostly work from home now which has been a real bonus that I’ve not needed any childcare. But between each session I like to do a wee, lets say, ‘check-in’ with what they’re all up to!

My nine year old son will default to the TV, usually as I’ve hidden the laptop after many hours of playing ‘roblox’ already…hiding places include the car boot, the bottom of his clothes drawer (he’d never look there) or in the ironing basket. Next son up, a teenager who would probably over-heat in his bedroom with the PS4 on all day then revert to ‘Friends’ on the TV or his mobile phone when told to get off the PS4.

Teenage daughter. I tend to stay out her way most of the day. If she’s up before lunch-time it’s usually because there’s a trip to Irvine beach or a full day of tanning and preparing for a night out. I didn’t realise you had to have a bath and a shower to do all this properly. I now know what a ‘gaff’ is as there’s been a few, and the highs and lows of being in a teenage relationship! I’ve also had many ‘snaps’ taken of me, unsolicited videos of me telling her off and distributed to her full friends group and probably in my PJs too!! So it’s best to stay out that room even if she has stole half my clothes and make-up!

So the day to day of trying to encourage my kids to be active and make the most of their holidays is sometimes a bittersweet request, leaving me with more work to do. My 9yr old is suddenly showing so much independence that he wants no help in doing new tasks and knows exactly the right way to do everything. No patience either, so waiting 10 mins for me to finish work was not on the cards when wanting to make lemon muffins. So I left him to it and he consequently didn’t set the weighing scales before measuring the flour and sugar (literally no sugar)...but they were still ‘delicious’ because he had made them all by himself!

Another episode this week where he decides to wash the neighbours cars after seeing a few boys doing the same the day before. I see him leaving the house while I was doing an online session…with mop bucket in hand and a backward glance through the window at me. Then find the liquid soap away too… he was not a happy boy when I find him and explain how these things aren’t done on a rainy day or with liquid hand soap!

Then the sound of a blender when trying to watch ‘Stranger Things’ with my other son. “What are you doing in there” I shout in desperation as he’s meant to be in bed and just downstairs getting a drink. I find he’s poured half a punnet of grapes into a half made up blender to make grape juice! Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful he’s being so hands on and getting on with things himself; and he has sorted out now that he needs to cover the bowl of tomato soup before heating it in the microwave.

He does love his food. Finding large wrappers of chocolate and endless packets of skittles in his bin are as much a mystery to him as they are to me. Young kids lie. A lot. So when I’m constantly telling them to “get outside, it’s a beautiful day”, you can guess where that wee trip outdoors is leading to.

So, if I’m remembered for nothing else these Summer holidays, I’m sure it will be my appeal to “Get outside and stop wasting your childhood!!” The reply of “when have I to come back home?” is usually “5pm or when you’re hungry!”. Then there’s those days you must have them home for an appointment or an evening club and they’ve gone AWOL. Hunting the streets, messaging the other Mums, but no-one knows where your child is. But then I did tell him to disappear till dinner-time!

So if you’re a parent trying to fit in your full-time job, time to buy school uniforms, constantly replace the disappearing food in the cupboards, give endless handouts for the cinema and shopping trips, get their haircut and have enough energy to be calm and patient by bedtime, then I feel for you. But we have survived. Another school holiday. But on a positive this year I have also seen a lot of growth in my kids, and not just in the stretching way.

I found my teenage boy ironing his T-shirts one early morning as he didn’t have any! He hadn’t asked me to do this and I had no idea he could iron. In fact his response to “do you know how to iron?” was “of course I know how to iron!” And he did a really great job too.

They all make their own lunches and have done their chores every day (maybe not right away but they get done eventually). I’ve had cups of tea made for me in the evening. I’ve had lots of hugs and they really really do know my bedtime is 9pm now and to give me my space!

So in trying to keep perspective, looking for the gratitude in every day (the small wins) and going to bed as early as I can so I can be bright and energised for my clients and kids has got me through it! Till next year…I can’t wait!

The Family Dinner-time

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 13:31:33 GMT

I’ve written before about ‘The family dinner’ and fussy eaters but after tonight’s serving I was inspired to write again!

Firstly, anyone having 3 children from 8-14 years will recognise the challenge and battle of getting everyone sitting together to have dinner. But seriously it is the ONLY time (not withstanding ‘Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway) when we all sit together and ‘communicate.'

It’s not always an easy or pleasant experience, let me tell you….often there are tears, shouting and insults; but on those occasions when we are all laughing so hard we nearly have the dinner spluttering back out again, they more than make up for the dramas.

Tonight is Monday night and I’ve made it a routine to have ‘fresh fish night’ on a Monday. Something I never thought I’d be doing would be sticking to a routine with dinners, but I’ve learned that this is about the only way I can continue to get my kids to eat fish every week.

My negotiations based on the fact they’ve had plenty treats over the weekend and now need to refresh and start the week with some wholesome food and nourishment. I’m not going to lie, for about the first 6 months of this routine I had arguments and fallouts EVERY WEEK. But amazingly now its expected and they just accept they get fresh fish on a Monday. Persist when they resist. You’re boss.

Most meals come with some compromise, as you ‘ll see in the photo we have agreed they don’t have potatoes but pasta with the fish and I get to have as much salad and vegetables as I want. They have to eat some too but not everything I eat…that would be ridiculous! The boys have seabass as they are intolerant to salmon; my daughter has salmon but chops both ends off!! So I get to eat the ends of said daughters dinner and the crusty skin of the seabass.

Tonight was a good night, better than that it was hilariously funny. Dinner time really is a time to discover what the hell is going on in their lives and what secret plans they are making. With 3 kids, there is always one that tells on the others secret plans, try’s to embarrass another or to find out any troubles they’ve been in.

Tonight the oldest decided she was walking my 8 year old to the school bus in the morning, with intent to fill his bag with sweets. Of course this was only to win back the girlfriend that apparently dumped him last week. He took it very graciously when he was told she had met another boy in her street during lockdown, but I could see the disappointment in his wee face. Big sister had a plan though, plenty sweets in the school bag and she’d be running back to him. Otherwise she’d go out and look for another for him.

My words of wisdom, of course “plenty more fish in the sea son”. Then the jokes about plenty fish still on his plate, or still a few fish left in his fish tank (he’s lost a few since he got them at Christmas). Much laughter.

The chat seems to move quickly from one subject to another with no warning. Almost always leads onto chat that is not pleasant, most likely because I have 2 boys. So, my daughter loves milk, she drinks loads every day which is great. The youngest tells her how the cows have 4 wullies which they pee the milk from and “did she not know this?” He doesn’t touch milk, never has! She couldn’t finish her milk.

Then onto the camping holiday I’m threatening (I mean planning) to go on with them all. The cows come back into the chat and how there might be a few hanging round the tent leaving cow pats for us all in the morning. My daughter brought up the camping, as we are awaiting the delivery of our first tent, saying she categorically won’t be going. She doesn’t mind the back garden for sleepovers with pals, where she has access to a toilet but no-way will she be going further. I’ll work on it!

A major conversation they all seem to get along with is the game Roblox. I feel like a total outsider, I have nothing to contribute. Chat about ‘legendaries’, ‘flying unicorns’, ‘neon dragons’ and trading ‘ultra-rares’. It’s like a different language and I’m not included, but they are all getting on! Its what happens when kids are ‘home-schooling’… for much of the time they are skipping between Roblox screens and school work!

Through all this chat we get there, we finish the dinner! It’s a success, but not always. But tonight it was and I’m so so grateful. I know one day very soon this will all just be a memory and I’ll no doubt long for the nonsense, the noise and the challenges of The Dinnertime. So I’ll keep on insisting that we all sit at the table and eat together, except on Saturdays of course for the TV dinner. As they leave the table, my parting request to “clear their plate and to say thank-you for dinner”.

If you’d like to read more of my blogs pls visit my website www.absolute-wellness.co.uk/blog

Please share ☺️

Presentations, Fear & Mindfulness

Wed, 01 Jul 2020 11:39:54 GMT

One of the greatest fears people have is public speaking or giving a presentation

As I’m preparing for another mindfulness presentation, to 120 staff at South Lanarkshire Council, I’m reminded of my own personal journey in presenting.

Unlike my children who are exposed to speaking in school solo talks and assembly from P1, my first real experience of this was in first year at University. I still remember the Lecturer at the start of the year telling us we had a 10 minute presentation to do at the end of the year. From that moment I was consumed by The Fear. I didn’t have much confidence back then and was finding my feet at Uni; doing a presentation and being in the lime-light was not something I could even get my head around. Of course, I did it and it felt uncomfortable as I was flustered and nervous, but it was done.

A few years later and I was to do a presentation after a summer placement for the careers service…this time being filmed! Mostly what I remember was that my knees kept knocking together, and to this day my knees often tremble when I do a presentation! However, I was surprised how I came across in the presentation when I watched it back; I was much more relaxed than I’d felt.

Still, I would never have considered that my career would have so much presenting involved!

But this is what came to be, all my careers have led to me presenting. Training sessions on food safety with the council, in the NHS as a Workplace Health Promotion Officer and then as the Occupational Health and Safety Trainer with Diageo.

Teaching yoga and now all the Wellness Workshops and Retreats I run.

So how do you overcome a fear of public speaking? I’ve some tips for you….

1. The most important tip is to be prepared and spend plenty time rehearsing. I remember my Dad sending me an article many years ago titled ‘99% preparation, 1 % perspiration!’ I go over sessions in my head when I’m out running or walking, that way I can see what I remember or what I still need to go over. Apparently introverts spend more time than extroverts preparing for presentations, with extroverts more likely to ‘wing it’.

2. Fit in time to focus on your breathing and being mindful in the morning or hours before your presentation. Visualise yourself in the room and feeling calm and confident as you talk.

3. Ensure you are presentable yourself, but comfortable with what you wear. Then don’t worry again about how you look. You look like you. People aren’t judging you on your appearance, they want to hear what you’ve got to say.

4. I never allow myself to feel nervous until the morning of a presentation or even better just before I am about to present. This would’ve really helped me in that first year of Uni. I’ve discovered there’s no point in wasting energy worrying about presentations or other stressful events in the future; so many circumstances change at the last minute. Travel plans, cancellations, ill-health all have led to changes in plans…wasted energy worrying.

5. Change the way you interpret how you feel before presenting. It’s normal to feel nervous and to have all the physiological changes that go with this. Try telling your body ‘I feel excited and prepared’ before your talk instead of ‘I feel nervous and anxious’. The experience of racing heart, sweating and feeling warm are the same for both emotions but its way more helpful to have a positive perspective before presenting.

6. When you start to present you may feel some of the above, but you are normal and they will pass as you settle into your talk. This is why it’s really important to have a strong opening that helps you get past initial nerves.

7. Don’t think about what people are thinking of you. You will never know, and many people in an audience aren’t being mindful and in the moment. They are likely thinking about their work, family, dinner etc. It’s just not helpful. If someone yawns, you don’t take it personally…they might have had zero sleep or be hungry! Never personalise what people say or do.

8. People warm to others that show they are human and many people in your audience will likely be thinking they couldn’t do what you’re doing.

9. Talk slowly, pause and breathe as opposed to filling gaps with other words such as ‘ok, em, right’.

10. Try not to over-rehearse. Trust that you know your material and the more relaxed you are the better the presentation will flow and the words will just come to you.

11. Remind yourself you have a job to do. You are there to impart your knowledge, share what you know and people are interested to hear what you have to say. Imagine you are just having a big conversation with your friends.

12. Use your own personal experiences to keep audience engaged and use the tone of your voice to show your passion and enthusiasm for the subject.

13. You likely will be your own worst critic. Not every presentation will be your absolute best, but as long as you’ve given it your best. Take learnings. For example, if you felt your opening could’ve been stronger. Aside from this there is nothing to be gained from ruminating over every detail. You’ve had the courage to do it and it’s now over, you can relax.

You can overcome your fears but only if you face them and accept that you might experience discomfort along the way. Your personal growth will blossom and you’ll feel you can take on new challenges in other aspects of your life.

Mindfulness can really help lower your anxiety. I’ve turned up to do presentations to find all sorts of challenges arise. Technology is a big one when it doesn’t work, that people arrive late, your session is delayed or the room layout isn’t suitable. If you are mindful and living life moment by moment then you come to accept the hurdles. Solutions will come to your mind and you will make the most of the situation regardless.

If you’re interested in mindfulness sessions, stress workshops or need help with overcoming fears then contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk for more info.

These unstructured days

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 09:12:43 GMT

How it came to be

Just 3 months ago I wrote my first article on ‘How to survive the 6am-10pm’ on how crazy and hectic life was as a single parent with 3 children. I had no foreseeability at all of what was to come in less than 3 months; in fact we might have welcomed the break, even just for a few weeks.

As a person who loves to feel like I’ve accomplished something every day or been as productive as I can be, I’m now challenging myself to keep the same mindset as before. The clients and the classes have almost stopped, but I know have a new opportunity to adjust and once again get out my comfort zone. I never would have dreamed I’d be doing ‘live’ yoga every morning back in January, never at all. Now it’s about the only work I feel I can do. Whether 2 people or 20 people are watching really isn’t my focus at the moment. Yes I’d love to hear of hundreds of new followers and converts to yoga, without a shadow of a doubt; but, what I’ve found is that the routine of me getting up, showered, dressed and ready to teach each morning has boosted my mood and given me a sense of purpose.

Now please don’t take that the wrong way. Yes, I have my 3 kids for the best part of the week and their emotional needs, ‘schooling’ and entertaining gives me a great sense of purpose. But I’m sure I’m not the only person out there that has now come to realise just how much their work has been a part of them, their identity, sense of worth and contribution to others.

I’m not the kind of person who wants to sit about all day watching movies, and I usually would spend a lot of my time outdoors during the school day. So it’s quite a shock to suddenly find yourself unable to enjoy the Spring you’d so been longing for. Once again I feel I need to apologise for what might be interpreted as being a bit selfish, given the bigger picture. I’ve not lost sight of everything that I’m grateful for, especially whilst others are suffering and working very hard. I’m exceptionally grateful every day for everything I still have and for the amazing support offered by clients, friends and families.

I decided to write this article to air my feelings, and how I honestly feel and how I believe many many people are feeling. I’m most concerned about people on their own, who now feel more isolated than ever. My dismay as I go outdoors for a walk or a run at how many people seem to think social distancing means to avoid all eye contact, look the other way and to not even acknowledge people anymore. I really had no idea that this virus was so virulent you could catch it by smiling at someone. For that person living alone and venturing out for their once a day exercise to be met with such little human connection is seriously worrying.

There’s a huge mental health crisis upon us now too. Alcoholism, anxiety, depression, phobias, obesity and likely suicides are set to increase.

So what can we do? What am I trying to do to normalise and adjust my life in what is really a crisis for us all?

I’m determined to stick to my working day plans. To keep structure in my day with work and ‘school’ with kids. To keep eating the way I ate before and nourish all of us as best we can. I avoid watching the news. I don’t think it’s helpful nor is it always very truthful about the bigger picture. I get up and go to bed at the same time during the working week. Every night I still count my blessings and mentally list everything I have gratitude for. I still only drink alcohol on a Saturday night and that’s limited too. I keep in contact with friends and family with FaceTime. I also try not to get sucked into negativity with people that only want to talk about Corona virus and how we are all doomed. How is that going to help your mental health, strengthen your immune system and keep you positive about life?

This is a time when we will become more resilient…it’s ok to have days where we feel like we are crumbling and feeling like we are just not coping. I have those days too, don’t doubt that. But you will get through this. We all just have to keep on keeping going.

For help and support with anxiety and stress contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk for CBT, mindfulness, yoga and relaxation.

Mummy, whats for dinner?

Thu, 12 Mar 2020 09:45:19 GMT

This article is for all the exasperated parents out there….you are not alone!!

Feeding time at the zoo is happening across the country at every breakfast, lunch and dinnertime! I would probably say one of the biggest causes of tensions and arguments in my house with 3 children (between 7 and 13 years old) is food. What they eat for breakfast, or don’t eat and what they’ll eat for snack at school to what we’re having for dinner EVERY day!

With my background in nutrition it is often a real challenge for me to be more laid back and allow my kids to eat in the way they do. If you don’t have kids of this age then you’ll likely be saying its all my fault and they’ve learned bad eating habits because I’ve not been strict enough. But believe me I thought the same before I had kids, but as kids get older and become teenagers you need to have a more flexible approach.

It’s a thankless task cooking for children. My children once ate every vegetable known to man, loved raisins, melon and all the things that they were given, but now want chips with every meal and even complain that they ‘don’t like those chips anymore!’ Also, having 3 children, you will NEVER please all 3 in one meal unless its pizza. My 2 boys have nut allergies along with all allergies to pulses and shellfish so a lot of the foods I like and that are healthy are not considered at mealtime. I do tend to make us all the same most nights.

So let’s start in the morning…today I have 2 boys starting the day with a wholesome ‘readybrek’ and raisins and this is great. Daughter makes her own rice crispies and white toast. It’s not the best and she ends up throwing out the rice crispies as she now doesn’t like them anymore. This happens usually within a week of loving something again. It’s happened with yogurts, grapes, watermelon, cereal bars… it goes on. I’m grateful however that she eats something. Packed lunches are like a habit now. White bread sandwich with ham (most days), crisps and a Nutella bar. The days of putting in yogurts, fruits and chopped vegetables seem to be over. They either come back or are binned. I’d rather I knew the kids were getting calories in them and ate healthier when they get in from school.

Eating ham is a big bone on contention for me since I rarely eat processed meats and know these foods are risk factors in cancer and cell changes. Often I sneak in a tuna or cheese sandwich and hope it’s forgotten about by home-time! Chicken is like a bad word in my house, unless of course it’s chicken nuggets. When you’re not the only person or parent influencing your children’s eating habits there’s little all you can do when they are fed Macdonald’s on a regular basis.

School dinners in primary school unfortunately are not healthy at all. I think the best I’ve heard being eaten is chicken curry, the rest is all pizza and burgers and usually a cake…unless it’s ‘Fruity Tuesday’, then there is no cake or biscuit.

To balance this out when my kids come home they are given fruit or chopped raw vegetables until dinner-time. I don’t avoid the fresh fish or chicken on the menu in the evening, I just prepare myself for the persistent moaning I’ll get till it’s all over. Dinner-time can be a time of humourous and disgusting stories, sibling fallouts, slagging off and general catching up with the school day. It’s so important to me that we all sit at the table and eat together, despite the argument over who sits next to me every single night. I’ll miss these days one day!

Onto dinner itself, and the tone is really set once my daughter arrives home from school and the first thing she asks is “what’s for dinner?” Now, if she sees or smells something that she’s not happy with then the mood changes and is set for the next few hours. It can be torture! Then after dinner, which might’ve taken the best part of 30 minutes to eat, and the kitchen isn’t yet cleared, I start to get the requests for something else to eat. Except what is really being asked is “can I have a treat or something nice?” Then there’s the expectation of a supper before bedtime, and really I‘ve ran out of ideas of what to give that’s not toast or more cereal! Although I did have a breakthrough moment where I could’ve danced a few nights ago…my daughter asked for a boiled egg and toast for her supper! I’m in shock and she says, “you know Mummy, sometimes I just like to eat healthy!”

So despite my yearnings for my children to eat a super-healthy diet, I reflect back to my childhood, and try to put some things into perspective. I seem to remember having nothing but a disgusting processed spread on my sandwiches, think it was a ‘Princes’ jar of tuna or chicken paste… smelled like dog food. I’m sure I refused to eat anything else. I didn’t even eat real tuna! We had treats of hot-dogs at the weekends, heated in the new microwaves that had just became the rage in the 80’s. My sister and I were each allowed a big bottle of ‘alpine’ fizzy drink from the van that we were to make last the week. We had a sweetie shop where we got 2 ounce of ‘rainbow dust’ (coloured sugar) every Friday. And then my Mum liked some nights off so invariably we had a chippy on a Friday night and a Chinese on a Saturday!! (sorry Mum)

By the time I was in 2 ^nd year of high school I remember having a daily diet filled with sugar and fat. Morning break I had the biggest piece of iced ‘fly cemetry’ as it was called. I remember a dinner lady saying “do you know how many calories are in a slice of that?” I replied “what’s a calorie?!” I didn’t care, it tasted good. By lunchtime I went to the local bakers shop and had a sausage roll, cream cookie, a drifter bar and a can of coke. No joke. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with this. My Mum did make lighter teas in the evening and they were pretty healthy but a fair number of treats too…as she had no idea how much I’d already eaten.

So when I start to really see how my diet as a teenager wasn’t much better (or in many ways worse) I can relax a bit and see that all is not bad. My kids are rarely ill and hardly been off school and so I believe they are getting enough nutrients for their health. When I see how my priorities around food and nutrition have changed over the years it makes me feel positive that the kids will also explore more foods. Keeping everything in balance and not denying the pleasures of ice-cream and crisps, as long as they get plenty good food too. Trying to ensure eating times don’t become a battle is also important. As parents we have to make compromises with our own ideas and keep just doing the best we can.

If you need help with family eating plans or ideas on healthier snacks or a balanced diet contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk

The Long Slow

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 10:00:27 GMT

Maybe it was the incidental wearing of the marathon t-shirt and shorts this morning that led to my 3 mile intended run becoming an 8 mile run

Sunday mornings were always synonymous with the long slow run for me, and I’ve always loved being up early and getting a run done before most people are up.

If you look back 10 years ago on this Facebook page, most of my posts were about running and races and the majority of my clients were runners. As I ran early this morning along a flat canal path I caught sight of my running shorts with ‘Dublin Marathon 2001’ on them. My first marathon 19 years ago and I remember every little detail about it…as I do with all the marathons I’ve done.

Back then I was in my mid-twenties and ran up to 60 miles a week in training…life was a lot easier back then! Before marriage, 3 kids and a divorce! In fact I honestly think I just ran and ate back then.

So this morning I was doing an out and back route which is great for adding on a few extra miles…my thoughts of doing 3 miles soon changed to “I’ve already done 3 miles, so I’ll do 6…no I’ll add on another half mile then that’s 7…no just add on another mile then back again will make 8”. And that’s how you start to get your long run back in your life!

The weather was perfect and the canal was still and peaceful. Early mornings really are the best time of the day. The experience shared with other runners and cyclists, most are friendly but then there’s always the runner that just doesn’t acknowledge you. My running was slow and cautious as I’ve a had an injury that hasn’t quite let me run the way I’d like to. But it felt comfortable and great to run further than I have for a while and I’m just grateful I have the health to be able to go out a long run. So goals and perspectives change as we get older, race times not so important but being pain free and healthy more of a priority.

I love running and its been a lifelong companion for me. My t-shirt reminding me of the Strathearn Marathon; now that was tough not to mention my most emotional race ever. I’ve done Edinburgh, Loch Ness and Stirling and hopefully get the chance to do another again.

So if you’d like more information on getting started into running or needing a more structured training plan, contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk

Feeling "Togetherness"

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 09:32:09 GMT

Loneliness and mental health

Today is supposedly ‘Blue Monday’ and likely the day people feel at their lowest after the festive period. One aspect of people feeling desolate and sad is loneliness and I’ve heard it discussed a few times on the radio today. Last weekend I had written this article about feeling connected, sparked by a run at the park. I thought about what I’d written today again, as I reflected on loneliness in the article, and so thought it would be the right time to share my thoughts.

So, last weekend I was out a run after my circuits class and it happened to coincide with the local weekly ‘park-run’ event.

I passed many familiar faces and gave some encouragement, and the many people I didn’t know were all smiling and saying hello to me too. I felt good. Despite not being part of the race and running against the group of runners, I had a feeling of gratitude and connectedness. It was in that moment I realised that I know many people locally, (having lived in an area for 14 years and been raising my family here). It was a comforting feeling to feel part of a community. Now I know I run a local business and that’s how I’ve come to know so many people locally, but there are other ways to get to know people and feel part of your community.

Growth through housing in the Gartcosh area has been met with plenty criticism; I really see it differently. There are many opportunities to feel part of the community with social media forums, social clubs, school parent council meetings, toddler groups, churches, children’s clubs and now the local park-run.

Feeling connected to people and being part of a community can really help with your mental health.

Loneliness is something we expect to come with old age and being left on our own. But its far more prolific than we think, and it affects young people from late teens, parents and elderly alike. Where communities are disconnected this can even cost the UK economy (£32 billion a year, according to the Eden Project)

Loneliness isn’t just about being alone but it’s also a sense of feeling unloved or unwanted. You can have many friends and contacts but feel very isolated or disconnected from them and their values. Many people have very little engagement with others and consider their television as being their main source of company. There’s research to suggest that loneliness can be worse for you than obesity (Holt-Lunstad, 2010) and are more likely to suffer from dementia, heart disease and depression.

We can all make steps towards helping others feel more important and wanted; and make efforts to keep in touch with people that we know are alone. All it takes is starting a conversation and making some time for people… simply showing an interest.

Many of us in Gartcosh knew a local man, Jack Watson, before he passed. He frequented the streets of Gartcosh and Drumpellier park with his dog Jamie. We would often chat and I got to know him quite well, and sometimes visit him at his home with my kids. He had a few other people that did the same and this made the biggest difference to his days after he’d lost his wife. A few of us got together and organised a surprise 75 ^th birthday party and he practically walked out the café without his walking aid at the end! The greatest thing was that local people turned up that didn’t know him personally but had seen him and wanted to come along and show they cared.

The spirit of making someone smile and feel better is the biggest gift we have. To go that extra mile for someone in need of your time or company is always remembered. We can all make a difference, and in so doing you will notice a difference in yourself.

If you are feeling lonely, lost or suffering depression then reach out and talk to someone. There’s support all round you if you let people help you. Suicide awareness forums and the Samaritans can help www.samaritans.org or your GP. For CBT or stress management contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk

The Stress Factor

Mon, 06 Jan 2020 10:07:09 GMT

We all will suffer from periods of stress in our lives, every single one of us

There is no shirking away from using the word stress nowadays, we seem to have really absorbed the concept that the lives we now lead are infinitely more stressful than ever before. Not so long as 10 years ago, we still found it difficult to accept that we were under a level of stress that was impacting on our mental health. It wasn’t something we wanted to admit to or have on our medical records. Thankfully the stigma around stress, anxiety and depression has been changing and workplaces are doing much more to support their employees going through stressful life events.

Stress is the adverse effect on the body or mind from too much pressure. We all have a different ‘stress threshold’ - levels we can cope with; but when the pressure is for long extended periods then this is where we can experience anxiety, depression and a greater risk of heart conditions, cancers and other serious ill health.

Stress affects us all differently too. We can often manage our stress levels from our experience and using coping mechanisms (exercise, meditation, mindfulness, yoga, healthy lifestyle, support from family/friends); however sometimes it just takes one added stress and that tips the balance between what we can cope with and what becomes over-whelming.

Stress factors can usually be related to one of the following:

1. Lack of control – over your direction in life, everyday decisions, working schedule

2. Lack of support – from work, family, friends

3. Change – some of us relish change and others find it too much, even if it’s a positive change e.g. new job, new home, getting married, having children

4. Financial stress

5. Health concerns

6. Family responsibilities/ relationships – too many demands and dynamics to deal with; bereavements, divorce, separation. At work, bullying or challenging relationships

Stress can manifest itself very subtly at first, and often people are in denial that they are even suffering from stress. But the most important thing is being able to see the early warning signs that are meaningful to you, and then start to put in place measures to help with coping through stressful times. Warnings signs can be behavioural - anything from over-eating, avoiding people and being inactive. They can also be internal signs, such as stomach problems, sweating, flushing and not being able to switch off and sleep.

I had a period of stress recently where I felt overwhelmed with all the demands in my life from children, family health concerns, relationship and work. It just reached a point where I had to stop and simplify. This is what I do. I simplify my life and focus on the key priorities. My warning signs were a feeling of helplessness, being emotional, loss of appetite, weight loss, nausea and insomnia! It’s quite a list but I’d reached a point where if I didn’t address a few of my stressors I was going to burnout.

When I was able to see rationally see what was causing me the most tension I was able to lower my stress levels. I got support from friends and family and when I communicated my feeling’s I started to feel a bit better. This led to an improvement in my sleep which was the biggest concern for me while trying to keep the house running with 3 children and an active job. Your coping mechanisms might be talking to others, getting outdoors for exercise and eating a nourishing diet.

Recognising your stressors, what your internal warning signs are and the coping mechanisms that have worked for you in the past can all help. Also going for further support through CBT, relaxation sessions, yoga and reiki. Absolute Wellness offer all these services. Also of interest may be the ‘Yoga, Mindfulness and Nutrition Planning workshop’ on 25 ^th January in Chryston. Please contact julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk for more information.

Coping With Stress

Tue, 12 Nov 2019 23:22:59 GMT

As concepts of beauty change and evolve, ideas that were one considered flawed or weak are now embraced and sought after. Read more about using contrast to create harmony.

There are no design limits in today's world of design, and that creates limitless opportunities for expression.

Mindfulness & Running

Tue, 13 Aug 2019 08:39:43 GMT

It’s surprising how we’re all familiar with the word ‘mindfulness’ or ‘meditating’ but don’t realise when we are actually doing it.

As a yoga teacher you’d be right to expect me to talk about how yoga brings about a meditative state; a peaceful and contented feeling that you didn’t feel before.

But I was a runner long before I practised yoga. So maybe I should try and explain what mindfulness, leading to being in a more meditative state means to me? It’s when I’m in the moment and my thoughts aren’t controlling my mind, but I’m much more aware of my surroundings. I can focus clearly on my senses, moment by moment, and the anxieties of my thoughts seem smaller.

For me, being mindful has been something that has came naturally to me as I’ve gotten older. In my 20’s I loved music and noise as soon as I got up in the morning. Every room would have a telly or radio on that needed switching off before I left for work. It was like my brain needed stimulating with constant messages to my nervous system. As I went through my 30’s I noticed I didn’t want to run with music on anymore and now in my 40’s I am quite positively noise averse! (not always easy to manage with 3 kids).

I do still love music and like most runners find I’m singing the same song on repeat for a full 10K. But there’s a difference. When I’m running I quite naturally tune in to my senses. Being out in nature it’s much easier to be mindful. If I notice any negative or unhelpful thoughts have crept in then this is my reminder to focus on the beauty all around me. Many of my runs are through forests as it’s my favourite place to run. The next time you are running try and engage with each of your senses;

- the rhythm of your footfall and the snap of twigs underfoot

- the sound of your increased breathing rate

- the birds singing

- the smell of cut grass

- the colours, shape and enormity of the trees

- the chance glimpse of a deer startled by your running

- the brilliance of a deep blue sky or the changing pattern of the clouds

- the light breeze on your skin or the soft touch of rain on your face

- the feel of the muscles as they work and tire

- the warmth in the body from the effort

- the refreshing taste of pure water

There are so many more and for each run it will be different. The endorphin release and being outdoors, combined with being in the moment, are all so powerful in changing your spirit. So being mindful can lead to meditation. After a mindful stretch you should try and find a quiet place to sit for some minutes or as long as you have. To close your eyes and really be in the moment with an increased awareness of the sounds of nature around you. I’m sure you’ll feel a sense of calm and readiness, to take what comes your way for the rest of the day, with a rational and measured response.

A run really isn’t just about pace, distance and times…. A run is often about re-setting the mind and starting again with a better outlook. You don’t even need to run to experience the stillness in your mind; walking, cycling and open water swimming have all given me a feeling of peacefulness.

Single Parent Life & Work

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 16:00:06 GMT

How to survive the 6am – 10pm day job!

A little background first...I’m a single parent with 3 young children (7-13years) and run my Wellness business around school hours and whenever the kids are at their Dads. Life is challenging and non-stop and the dynamics in the house are forever changing.

If you want to have a fulfilling life for yourself whilst raising children then you have to be disciplined to fitting in your own priorities too, otherwise you will reach burnout. My day starts early (first child normally up by 6.30am) and by the time they have left for school I’ve usually showered, made 3 breakfasts, lunches, made sure everyone ready, put a washing on, dishes done, cleaned some part of the house, flushed numerous toilets (do kids ever learn to flush the toilet!!!) and started to prepare work (its just after 8am and I’m writing this blog).

Being self-employed you have to be dedicated to put in the hours when you can. The days are varied and involve teaching yoga, having PT clients, reiki sessions, preparing presentations and workshops or making up nutrition plans. Often I’m asked by clients if I’m busy and I’ve always equated this to being busy with clients, as this is how I’ve rated my success. A lot of my work involves planning sessions, marketing and promotion, responding to enquiries, networking, researching and making phone-calls. But being self-employed you don’t get paid for this part of work, but it takes up gazillions of my time. And lets not forget I like to train myself!! I do yoga most days and run or do weight training when I can.

So this all happens between the hours of 9-3pm, it’s really not long, and then it’s all about the kids, preparing dinner, diffusing arguments, doing homework. While there’s a spare 15 minutes I’ll be back doing preparing work. Usually there’s a kids club in the evening so it’s an early dinner by 5pm and then more work in the car while the club is running. Last night I had a telephone call with my website provider on changes I’d like made and then the work that followed on from the call. In the meantime, I noticed my Instagram promotion about my lovely baked salmon dinner had been hijacked by my teenage daughter. She’s now blocked from my business page for her mean comments about my disgusting dinner!!!

Its then the bedtime routine that starts 2 hours before the kids actually get anywhere near going to bed! I always get the housework done before I go to bed at night as I like an organised home free from much clutter. It helps me feel like I’m starting the next day afresh.

I generally don’t watch TV, I really wouldn’t fit in all the work and running the house if I did.

I try not to go on the laptop much in the evening and instead read or do yoga. I love reading, mostly books relating to mindfulness, yoga and healing. I make sure to write out a ‘to-do’ list for the next day. I usually go to bed between 9.30/10pm hopefully feeling that its been a productive day, sometimes tinged with the sadness of the aftermath of falling out with one of the kids, but overall with a sense of gratitude for the day I’ve had.

So there it is, a day in the life of a self-employed single parent….not unlike yours.

Running For Beginners

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 08:18:46 GMT

I’ve never forgotten the first time I actually went for a ‘run’. I don’t think many of us do!

It seemed a good idea when drunk with my pal in the Students Union to go a run the next morning. She lived in the floor below my flat and as I remember her expression as she opened the door at 7am I don’t think she really believed I’d turn up.

It’s incredible how one person can come to have such an influence in your life. I was just 18 and have pretty much ran since then; this same friend inspiring me to progress to climbing monroes, doing marathons and triathlons.

I also remember the first time I went a run on my own. That feeling when I turned into the street at Candleriggs and felt like everyone was watching me; believing they were all thinking that I looked daft, out of place and not very fast at running. I remember the relief of making it to Glasgow Green and onto park land, away from traffic and all the dodging in and out of people. I still remember how I felt once I’d really warmed up and started to feel like I was skipping along comfortably, possibly my first ‘runners high’.

Running is like a drug and it’s helped me through many a bad day or period in my life. It’s the most readily accessible sport you can get into and the benefits and progression are quickly experienced.

All you need to get started is a good pair of running shoes and suitable clothing. The best advice I can give for trainers is to try many on and get at least a half size bigger than your shoe size. The shoe should feel like it is super comfortable. I’d recommend going to a running shop to get fitted by someone with some expertise. Usually the staff in running shops are very keen runners, and if they’re not, I’d find someone who is!

Socks are important too to avoid blisters and over-heating – invest in some good running socks that are suitable for the time of year. Really thin light ones during the warmer months, that don’t slip down when you run.

Avoid running within an hour of eating and if eating a snack keep it a light simple carbohydrate snack like a banana or a handful of raisins. Water becomes more important the longer you run for (usually runs over 1 hour), however being hydrated before running is most important otherwise you’ll feel sluggish. If it’s a warm day then take water whatever your distance. Carrying a bottle of water is a good habit to get into.

To get started you might feel you need to run with someone or in an organised jogging group. Beginners groups start with walking/ jogging intervals of 30 seconds to 1 min so it’s totally achievable, and with progression up to 30 minutes continuous jogging after 10 weeks. There should always be a warm up – for beginners this is often 5 minutes of brisk walking or dynamic movements. Stretching is most important after a run, holding the main muscle groups for 30 seconds.

Often we start running too fast. Try to stick to being at a pace where you can talk comfortably. A flat route is important for total beginners, especially for the first 12 weeks. This stage is about safely building up your running and helping the body adapt without overloading the muscles too quickly. Avoid running on consecutive days while a beginner. If you have shin pain or other pains or injuries you might be doing too much too quickly. Walking, swimming or yoga are perfect on recovery days.

One of the greatest challenges of being a runner is staying motivated. Challenges will come along that upset your plans and it’s about getting back on track and believing you won’t be back to square one after losing a week. I loved when my ‘Runners World’ magazine arrived in the post, that always made me get out running again. Getting new running gear or committing to a race always kept my focus. Try to get a running buddy that’s at the same level as you.

Before long you’ll realise you think about running more and more, talk about it to everyone, and can’t understand why everyone else isn’t doing it and aren’t as passionate about it as you! Happy running!

For more information on jogging and running groups contact Julie@absolute-wellness.co.uk or follow ‘Absolute Wellness’ on Facebook.

Swimming "Every Cloud"

Tue, 16 Jul 2019 08:55:02 GMT

I’ve picked up a minor running injury and this is not ideal in my line of work

The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

The Runners agony of wanting to stop, but not wanting to stop!

Wed, 12 Jun 2019 09:04:00 GMT

Don’t think its just beginners that have that over-riding urge to stop in the middle of a run and walk instead

The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.