Feeling "Togetherness"

Bet you’re looking forward to the kids going back to school?’ Oh yes, I ve been asked that a few times this last week. I’m overjoyed my 3 kids are going back to school tomorrow. After 7 weeks of kids wandering around the house like lost souls, needing constantly fed and moaning about every small request for help with housework, I can’t wait to get my working space back again. I mostly work from home now which has been a real bonus that I’ve not needed any childcare. But between each session I like to do a wee, lets say, ‘check-in’ with what they’re all up to! My nine year old son will default to the TV, usually as I’ve hidden the laptop after many hours of playing ‘roblox’ already…hiding places include the car boot, the bottom of his clothes drawer (he’d never look there) or in the ironing basket. Next son up, a teenager who would probably over-heat in his bedroom with the PS4 on all day then revert to ‘Friends’ on the TV or his mobile phone when told to get off the PS4. Teenage daughter. I tend to stay out her way most of the day. If she’s up before lunch-time it’s usually because there’s a trip to Irvine beach or a full day of tanning and preparing for a night out. I didn’t realise you had to have a bath and a shower to do all this properly. I now know what a ‘gaff’ is as there’s been a few, and the highs and lows of being in a teenage relationship! I’ve also had many ‘snaps’ taken of me, unsolicited videos of me telling her off and distributed to her full friends group and probably in my PJs too!! So it’s best to stay out that room even if she has stole half my clothes and make-up! So the day to day of trying to encourage my kids to be active and make the most of their holidays is sometimes a bittersweet request, leaving me with more work to do. My 9yr old is suddenly showing so much independence that he wants no help in doing new tasks and knows exactly the right way to do everything. No patience either, so waiting 10 mins for me to finish work was not on the cards when wanting to make lemon muffins. So I left him to it and he consequently didn’t set the weighing scales before measuring the flour and sugar (literally no sugar)...but they were still ‘delicious’ because he had made them all by himself! Another episode this week where he decides to wash the neighbours cars after seeing a few boys doing the same the day before. I see him leaving the house while I was doing an online session…with mop bucket in hand and a backward glance through the window at me. Then find the liquid soap away too… he was not a happy boy when I find him and explain how these things aren’t done on a rainy day or with liquid hand soap! Then the sound of a blender when trying to watch ‘Stranger Things’ with my other son. “What are you doing in there” I shout in desperation as he’s meant to be in bed and just downstairs getting a drink. I find he’s poured half a punnet of grapes into a half made up blender to make grape juice! Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful he’s being so hands on and getting on with things himself; and he has sorted out now that he needs to cover the bowl of tomato soup before heating it in the microwave. He does love his food. Finding large wrappers of chocolate and endless packets of skittles in his bin are as much a mystery to him as they are to me. Young kids lie. A lot. So when I’m constantly telling them to “get outside, it’s a beautiful day”, you can guess where that wee trip outdoors is leading to. So, if I’m remembered for nothing else these Summer holidays, I’m sure it will be my appeal to “Get outside and stop wasting your childhood!!” The reply of “when have I to come back home?” is usually “5pm or when you’re hungry!”. Then there’s those days you must have them home for an appointment or an evening club and they’ve gone AWOL. Hunting the streets, messaging the other Mums, but no-one knows where your child is. But then I did tell him to disappear till dinner-time! So if you’re a parent trying to fit in your full-time job, time to buy school uniforms, constantly replace the disappearing food in the cupboards, give endless handouts for the cinema and shopping trips, get their haircut and have enough energy to be calm and patient by bedtime, then I feel for you. But we have survived. Another school holiday. But on a positive this year I have also seen a lot of growth in my kids, and not just in the stretching way. I found my teenage boy ironing his T-shirts one early morning as he didn’t have any! He hadn’t asked me to do this and I had no idea he could iron. In fact his response to “do you know how to iron?” was “of course I know how to iron!” And he did a really great job too. They all make their own lunches and have done their chores every day (maybe not right away but they get done eventually). I’ve had cups of tea made for me in the evening. I’ve had lots of hugs and they really really do know my bedtime is 9pm now and to give me my space! So in trying to keep perspective, looking for the gratitude in every day (the small wins) and going to bed as early as I can so I can be bright and energised for my clients and kids has got me through it! Till next year…I can’t wait!

I’ve written before about ‘The family dinner’ and fussy eaters but after tonight’s serving I was inspired to write again!